A Special Hundredth Post

I have especially prolonged blogging for the reason that I want my 100th post to be extra special. I thought it would be a waste to just spend it on my rants via my Express Mail series; or talk about how my day was and so on. This goes out to my Mom, by the way.



Dear Ma,
Tomorrow marks a year since you've been gone. I can still remember your daily struggle with Cancer and its pain. But even so, we saw how gracefully you've endured it until the end.

I remember the night when I knew we'd lost you in hours time. I made a contract with my brain to be extra sensible to whatever I will hear. I prayed to God to make me awake the moment I'll hear anything because I perfectly know I'm bad at it.

I know I've explained it to you already but again, I'm sorry for the times I've been apathetic that it hurts you whenever I'm being like that. I have no choice Ma, I had to. It would be much of a burden seeing us breakdown each time you're screaming in pain. You often tell us we're emotionally strong individuals --me and Mav. And whenever you see me cry over movies it's like you've discovered something no one else has discovered yet. Haha! :)

You know, we miss you. I had one heck of a year last year.
January had been slow.
February: I celebrated my 1st birthday without you. I missed your lengthy SMS with your birthday wish for me in it.
March: we've been loaded with graduation practices.
April: finally my graduation day.
May: Kuya had a beach blowout for me.
June: Mav's first birthday without you. She missed you too. We all do. Uhm I had review classes then.
July, August, September: am busy with review still.
October: Dad's first birthday without you. We had a lil celebration over here with Jaz' family.
November: nothing really special I guess because I can't remember anything. :D
December: my board exam. My berx' 6th anniversary. And I'm already single.
The Holidays: we spent Christmas over Jaz'. They miss you Ma. On New Year we spent it here at home. Kinda sad but we managed. 1st year of 2011 at Jaz' house. Kuya misses you.

Everyone misses you. :) I guess it was just last week when my friend told me she wishes she had the same relationship with her Mom as I had with you. Hehehe. It made me a lil proud. :) Hahaha!

I love you Ma. We love you.
P.S. Don't worry about Dad. He made a promise last year that we'll never have a stepmom. We'll make sure he'd keep that. ^___^

New URL. Same Old Author :)

From being apatheticallysweet, I am now loveintoxicated.

There are a million reasons why I am *and I've realized* that LOVE pours in my life. OK, a million is overrated.. But hey!

• I've got My Maker. Talk about unconditional love.

• Mom and Dad. Though we're not grand and ever-rich.... they may not be the perfect parents but for me they're the BEST.

• Though I used to flinch because my Sister loves to pinch me when we were little.... though I used to get spanks from Mom and Dad just because "I don't watch over younger sister" even though she's overly naughty and hard-headed... I used to hate her whenever she cooks breakfast and has not left a single food for me to eat when I wake up... I wish she would never forget that I won't hesistate whipping some asshole just like I did during grade school. In her own little ways, I know she values me as her older sister. (I miss you whenever I'm far from home, you know.)

• HS Berx. Though we don't get to see each other as often as we wish, our bond is unbreakable by distance and misunderstanding.

• Mamugs. I know I am a hot-tempered, demanding, OC, paranoid leader. Haha! But thanks for sticking to my rules and being such grown-ups that I need not dictate what to do 'cause you've got initiative. Thanks btw for those who cooked and washed our dishes during our recent outbase. Mwah!

• Budotz. I know you're just behind me ('cause we're all sitting at the same side in class) and that our bond and the memories is not a waste though we have our respective groups right now.
  

• M. Thanks for everything. Most especially, for trying to understand me whenever I have my mood swings 'cause I'm like a bipolar. Though I don't speak my mind, you know something's wrong. Some times I hate you for it 'cause it's like I can't hide anything from you and I can't keep some of my thoughts to myself. Yet after "forcing" me to speak it out, I feel relieved. Thanks. Super. (I wish you'd get to read this. Hehehe.) Oh, thanks for giving me a paper every time our teacher calls for a quiz. :)