Dreams

I do things I like, have fun, be with people I miss. Then I wake up, Im in the same bed, same room, same city. Later, I'll be doing the same routine. This is not what I like, I barely have fun, and Im far from the people I miss. To add up, it's raining outside. I dont have chocolates here as well. FML.

How to pack up like an obsessive-compulsive

The OC part of me is stressing me out. Moreover, me being stressed out by myself can be 1) mostly useful and 2) can not be of exemplary use as well.

How to pack up like me because I'm an OC. Ugh.

1. Make a list of things to bring way before your travel date. (You don't want to be irate thinking you've left something behind. Review your note once in a while.) Be specific. When I say specific, include those one would never thought of bringing along --say, scissors.. nail cutter.. flashlight... All because those might be needed.
2. Get those things you've listed down. Don't put it in your luggage yet. Crush out those you've prepared in your list. Get all those you might need with the thinking that you might actually need it.
3. Now, place everything in your luggage. And a little after doing so, you must realize that you're going to be charged some extra fee for the excess baggage. Ha!
4. Time to review what you've put in. This is the time I bargain with my self that those I have put in my bag are actually essential and might be used/needed/whatsoever.
5. OC Instinct vs Conscience. Often, my conscience wins this only after battling hard with my OC instinct. Or after I do a little compromise with things. As I am typing this, I am not yet done with packing. :) I'm still doing the bargaining inside my head. But you know my conscience managed to get some clothes out of my bag. After all, if I rarely use it now, I may never get close to using those even if I bring it with me. Thank God for my brain.
6. Now everything is set to go, close your bag and start stressing maybe you've left something behind. You have to convince yourself hard enough that you haven't. Review your list once again and see that you haven't missed out whatever it may be. If you're still not convinced, compare your luggage with someone else's. Haha!
7. If you're still not convinced and you're tired of being stressed, do step #5 again. This time, the battle is over checking your bag contents again and again and again OR to stop overthinking and convince yourself it's enough (needs a lot of practicing) OR do both (because you're an OC).

Yeah, yeah... Welcome to my life. LOL

Kids

I saw this pic over tumblr and it's just so adorable. Who in the world does not see it as lovely?

I want to dress up my future kid/s like this too. :) Very very adorable. It made me think of the kind of joy little blessings like this make a parent melt... It made me think I want a kid now too so I can have someone to dress up and buy little mittens, little socks, little clothes, and all things that are colorful and cute.

But I wish having a kid is as easy as having a stuffed toy. When you're through with playing, you can just leave it in your room as you attend to your day's activities. And get back to your plushy when you feel like playing dress up again.

With how costly living a life is now, having a baby should be and is ideally well-planned. It's not like going on a mall and then an impulse strikes you with the thinking "I want it" and presto. Even when I have my share of impulse buying, when I get home I come to think why on earth have I bought it anyways. Then regret on what has happened --that the money spent on it should have been spent on something more worthy of buying.

Yet things don't go "ideally" all the time. I salute women who carry on with their pregnancy at a young age who goes head on with whatever the repercussions of their actions are. I salute people who does not resort to committing abortion just to "undo" the result of their impulsive wants. I salute all single parents for doing all they can to rear their little ones.

In as much as I want to have a "mini me", I believe today or any time soon is not the right time. Having a kid is not like having a toy. It requires great love, incessant effort, much time, and more money. I want my future kid to grow up well-provided for financially and emotionally.

I want to be financially stable first, then have a family of my own. Then maybe after a couple of years, I'll have a baby. Then be a full-time mom to watch and guide my kid as s/he's growing up. :)

For now, I guess I have to fish for my old stuffed toys and be content with them.... play with our puppies.... and accomplish my dreams for myself and for my family first.

Scars

One of my fave songs is Scars by Papa Roach. I love the line "the scars remind us that the past is real". Indeed it is.

Whenever I look at my scars I remember how did I get it in the first place. There's this "I slipped in the rock in the sea" scar, "I was pushed by my sister" scar, and the "play" scar, the "mishandled knife" scar... And of all my scars, I have a favorite. It's small to be noticed, it blends well with the rest of my skin. But me owning and knowing my body, I can easily recognize it. It's the scar I had when I was tugging the marker away from my best bud. Silly fight. HAHA! And I know I have scarred him too, but on a different instance and a different story. HAHA! :P

I'm an Alcoholic

Yes, I am. I've been trying to deny this for the longest time but then everyone around me has witnessed my compulsion. And I can't help it.

An alcohol in my bag is a must. It's one thing I can't afford to not have. There were these moments when I suffer from dry hands for the sake of giving in to it. Then I bought this antibacterial lotion but I just didn't like it.

The other day M had a dream of me being in a military academy. (I would like to sign up for it but my height does not meet the requirement. Dang!) Then in our jogging session he noticed I have an alcohol on my pants' pocket.

Even in dreams. LOL.

Music Files

Photo from here.

Earlier I updated my music file folder by downloading some current songs --only my new favorite ones. I have songs from Boyce Avenue, David Archuleta, Bruno Mars (whom I just recently found out that he's a Filipino-Puerto Rican --see this), One Republic, Usher, and Jay Sean.

Then I have come to realize that our PC was bombarded with me and my sister's mp3 files (well it's more on mine I guess). Tee-hee. I'm thinking of burning some into CDs to somehow spare our PC of memory.

Woven Thoughts

I.
OK, I perfectly know that being insecure is never good and so as it's sister --envy. Whenever I stumble on that, I start to ask why I happen to not have it... why do I not get as close to it... and I wonder if I would ever claim it too... and if when will that be.

I'm starting to lose hope on my dream. I want to think that someday I'ma have it too. But maybe I don't deserve it after all. I don't know. I envy those who are enjoying it right now. And right, I know I'm sinning by envying others. Crap! Save me!

II.
The culprit for my behavior lately is none other than my now-here-and-for-a-few-months-gone hormones. I have a faulty system. My ovulation days are next to unpredictable. I think my longest time of drought was 5 months. I actually want to see a gynecologist but you know, I'm pretty scared of the possible findings. Like after all I'm not a girl... Stuff like that. LOL.

I've been very much irritable (like I always am when my period's coming) that I am actually in a combative mode for days. It's like "Move, and I'll shoot you" kind-of feeling.

III.
Talking about my faulty system, I think that there would be a narrow probability of me getting pregnant because of it. And that is more on the advantage for me because I don't like kids, generally. Maybe my perception would change once I have my own kids. But now, nah-uh!

IV.
Kids. kids. kids. The reason why our neighbor whines every single day for not less than 3 times per day.

Yesterday the kid was playing stone-throwing. Great. He aims for houses. Awesome. I caught him in the act of throwing stones at our house but the lil kid didn't seem to notice me since I was just standing at our door. So I went outside and caught him throwing at the house in front of us. I got his attention and like most kids do when they are reprimanded for their action which they know isn't right, he ran away.

Pretty much the same story of a random kid who was fascinated with our lovebirds and threw his ice water at the cage but missed it. I got angry at them and told them I don't want to see their faces.

V.
I know. I'm a meanie. :)

Tomboy

To what I can recall, I think the first time someone commented I was tomboy was in junior high. Or it has got an impact on me much that I can never forget who said it and that I told his elder brother (who happens to be my best bud of all time) to reprimand him afterward. LOL.

Thinking back, I can't blame him. I had a loose blouse and a lengthy skirt back then. While everyone else had their blouse a lil body hugging and their skirts just a couple of inches below their knees. My everyday companion was his brother because my girl bestfriend is preoccupied with her boyfriend.

Just days ago, I was given that word again. And bingo, it's because of my shirt. Right, [shirt] that is a bit loose. Boo-yah!

Just be thankful I don't punch harder than guys do. :)

Chic

At times I wanna step out of our doorstep all made up as if I'm one of the prettiest. However I mostly live by 2 words: comfort & practicality.

In my few month's routine as a fresh graduate/ reviewee, I pull off with just powder and my lip balm. I dress according to how I feel like. Mostly I come to class in just a tee, jeans, and rubber slippers. :) Good thing we have no dress code. (Just like the good old days in maroon university.)

I have apprehensions whenever I feel like dressing up differently than my usual, especially when it's just for my review classes. Maybe because I get the knack of not being overly mindful of what to wear. After all, I don't attend those just to flaunt my wardrobe (like I have one, haha!) or impress whoever.

PS Me Insecure

Read the preceding post here.

PS..
I remembered it's not just about my physical appearance that I feel insecure about for a lil while. It also includes my brain and my connection.

Just saying. :)

Me Insecure

Photo from here.

In·se·cure (adjective) 1: Uncertain 2: Unprotected, Unsafe 3: Loose, Shaky 4: Infirm 5: Beset by fear or anxiety

 I just happen to catch the feel of insecurities lately that it made me start to think to myself the following:

• I wish I'm skinny. Or if not, I wish I got more curves. (Minus my spine, please. I already have scoliosis. Leave my spine alone. Thankyouverymuch.)
• I have abs. If not, just a flat belly.
• ....and that I got a toned body, no flabs. Got it?
• I'm taller. 5'4 will do.
• And a __________________.

 Reality check.

• I'm not skinny. I think I got some big bones. And as for the curves, I think I have some (luckily).
• ....I got the curves in my abdomen though. Far different from abs. It's a belly!
• Flabs, check!
• I'm 5'1 and something. Still it's 5'1. Too bad it can't be rounded up to 5'2, I guess.
• Well, forget it.

Man, I don't know what's up with me. I know we all have our insecurities but I just don't know why it's gotten into me so much that I even blogged it up here. :)

I guess it's the hormones. Shoot.

That stuffed toy

The other day I saw this new game in the arcade and I liked the prizes. I like the stuffed toys hanged in the sides. Yeah right, like I was going to get one by hitting the balloon with a dart.

Earlier this day, I tried it. A single try was worth 30 bucks. Since I actually don't want to spend much, I tried it only once and to no avail, I got nothing. I regretted spending for it because I could have bought myself a plushy already (though it would be cheaper than those displayed) without even playing the game with the chance of actually not getting it --and that I actually didn't get it in the end.

I was disappointed simply because I wanted one. Haha! And now I realized how childish I acted earlier. LOL! I even regretted how I convinced myself the other day that I don't want to just buy myself a stuffed toy, rather, I want to have one because I somehow worked for it (by virtue of winning the game instead). Freak!

But then, I went home tonight happy. *smile* I have a mini stuffed toy courtesy of M. We went to Toy Kingdom shortly after that shitty attempt of mine and I saw this cute lil lime rabbit (?). And to make the story short, he bought it for me. *flashes my teeth in a big smile*

Actually I feel kinda ashamed since I'm not used to having someone buy me what I want. Even if it's my parents who asks "Gusto mo 'to?", I'd rather not answer it. Me and my sister was brought up not to be brats. Though we really really like something, even if we're asked if we like it, we won't admit it. We'll just give out a coyly smile or our eyes will just get that kind of sparkle. If what we wanted was bought for us, then thank you. If not, then it's okay.

Today, I say thank you. :)
Happy day! :)

Diary

I had this lil notebooks back then that serve as my diary/journal, whatever you wish to call them. But ever since my younger younger years, I'm not consistent with writing on my diary. I found it tiring to put my thoughts into words and scribble them down on paper. My mind always had those things I'd rather keep to my self.

Once I got really furious when I went to get my diary in its "hiding" place and there I found it on someone else's box. The person read my diary and now knew what was written in it. The secrets in it are not deadly, but the fact that someone else had a taste of what was on in my head (blow by blow) was uneasy.

Writing has been my sort of venting out even though my diary being stolen and read by someone else was traumatic. What I did then on was to write letters and burn them right after. In that way, no one else knew what I wrote.

Then blogging became my alternative way of unleashing my thoughts. I know I am one heck of a thought-keeper. At any instance, I would rather keep things and not express it. Whenever I blog or write something for everyone's eyes to see, most often I want to keep it vague just to satisfy my self that somehow I still haven't gave it all --even if I'll be the only one to get the grasp of it.

Today I was encouraged to keep a diary. I'm not quite sure if I'll get back to having those notebooks. Maybe I would like to store pictures instead. :)

Getting Bored

Lately, my life's been a routine: review classes, home, review classes, home. Seldom do I go out on my free days. I enjoy being at home actually but not until now.

I'm getting bored at home. Not that I don't feel bored before when I don't have anything to do.. It's just that my Dad and my sister comes home late. (Late because I go to sleep as early as 9:30pm.) I felt like it's not far from me being in a dormitory or an apartment all by myself.

It sucks. However, I think I should be used to this s***. I miss my mom even more. :)

Isturyang Adik

Kabalo ko dali ra ko malain.. Imung giingon months ago --long as naay impact sa ako to kay makahinumdum gihapon ko ana. Mura lang kog walay pake pero nagbantay lang ko. I know I'm matampuhin. Sige lang, there will come a day when I get numb from all there is to feel and I'll never be Ms. Matampuhin anymore.

Sa kadali nako malain, dali lang pud ko maanad. Ironically, pag naanad ko, astang dugaya nako maka-unlearn. Right now, the greatest thing I find difficult to unlearn is the very thing I've been used to for years.

Nakasabot man ko. Gusto lang nako magyawyaw run sa kadaghan na akong wala ginasturya or ginagawas na emotions in my 21 years of existence... major major... Haha! Shit. At least man lang, once in a blue moon, mag-isturya kog murag adik. Haay!

May naisip tuloy ako na thought. Bad cheetah. Gusto man siguro ko magka-lung cancer. Binuang. Maypa siguro run kay magtrip to Paris ko ugma (after namu mag-adto ni Gg sa Palau ug sa Florida) unya saka sa Eiffel Tower unya ishagit tanan na energy nako hantod sa mashagit pud nako akong lungs. Ug sa dihang, karon lang nako naisip na dili pwede akong lungs akong mabuga pag mushagit ko sa Paris ugma. Maypa siguro akong larynx na lang.

In that manner, maski unsa akong buhaton, wala na koy larynx. Yehey! Ok na unta ang tonsillitis frequently pero kung magka-ingana, labad ang dysphagia. Dili ko pwede magfood trip. Kung pwede lang maghikog.

No to lung cancer. No to lung cancer. Magbasketball na lang guro ko ugma. Depende kung naa pay spare time sa amung pag travel around the world ni Gg ugma. Giuhaw nuon ko dah. Best served with ice.

Maremember nako sa una kay manlabay kog mga libro or maski unsa akong magunitan. Sa karon, ang gwapong NCP kay Violence directed to self. Hilig kog WWF sa una. Hahaha!

Ok man diay mag-isturyag wala diri wala didto ui. Nahuwasan ko gamay in fairness major major. Sa kung kinsa man ang nagabasa ani karon, pasensha kaayo kay nahimu kang saksi sa kung unsa kagubot akong utok sa karon. Ug para ingnan tika, wala pa na sa tunga sa akong adik na utok.

Isip nuon nako na magbuhat kog separate inadik na blog. Haha! Shots shots shots! Sige, mangape sa ko.

Told ya... Isturyang Adik..

And oh!

I mentioned basketball on my previous post. And it got me thinking now that I miss playing basketball. I hope I can get back to one of my loves soon. Most probably after I do some stretching and cardio exercises days before firing up the court (basketball or badminton), else I will need to buy more Salonpas for the body aches.

Now it got me thinking to have some sweaty Saturday. Hmm...

Knee "pain"

Me got a new favorite. Salonpas. Haha! I may smell like an old woman now but I found the patch soothing to my knee "pain". I don't know what's with my knees I think it's more on "fatigued" (if knees ever feel that kind of feeling). So I decided to put on that patch I last wore when I got my hand slightly injured from playing basketball almost 6 years ago.

Here's how my knees looks like right at this very moment. :)

:)

December, wait for me!

The original plan was that after my board exam, I'll head to Visayas to attend a wedding. Bad bad thing was that the PNLE was moved from December 3-4 to December 12-13. So I won't be able to go after all. :(

December 12-13 was moved again to December 19-20, 2010. This time it's final. WAAAH! Just a few days before Christmas, eh? What I'm just keeping in mind is that, the day after my last exam day, it's me and my berx' 6th Anniversary! Haha! At least I have a reason to have them right after my board exam. And it's going to be heck of a de-stressing get-together. :)

Speaking of friends... I super thank God for friends like Gido and Yan yan. :) Earlier this day, we had our papers filed for the said exam. Praise God it went smoothly. YAY! :D We lunched out after, though it's still 10am. HAHA! We sure did finish early. :)

It's so refreshing to know that people got your back. I was really really tensed this morning and they were like asking me if I'm fine, pats my back, and just boosting my energy when it was already my turn specifically when the one on the counter (who was so nice) was already checking my papers. God knows how tensed I was then. :) Thinking back, I might have pulled it off alone pero iba pa rin talaga kung may kasama ka. Talk about moral support.

When finally I was called at Window 4 to get my Notice of Admission slip, a guide, the official receipt and my change, I was so elated. FINALLY! Finally all the hard work and stress of having our exhibit forms signed and other papers notarized/get done was totally over.

We are yet to face the true battle --the reason for every sweat and blood we shed for four years. The battle is on December 19 and 20. No reason to be lax on reviews anymore, now that we had our load a lil lighter since we're done with the paper works.

I dedicate my battle to my Dad, my Mom, and my sister. December, wait for me! I'll conquer you, by God's grace. :)

Top 6: Jeepney Blues

 I've been wanting to do this post for so long, and here it is! Btw, the photo I've used is taken here.

98% of the time, I ride the PUVs -Public Utility Vehicles. Rarely do I ride a cab because I take the jeepneys.

We all have our rants to share about our jeepney ride experiences but I'll list down the Top 6 things I hate.

#6 May sumakay na lasing...

Mabaho na nga, maoy pa, chances are...... masukahan ka pa. Mainit-init na mabigat. Mapapamura ka talaga.

Parang 4 years ago, I'm with my Mom and my sister. Naparami ang laklak nung tipsy-ng kolehiyalang Dude, lumabas na lang sa bibig niya lahat ng stomach contents niya. Talak ever na lang ang nagawa ko. Sa hiya niya, behave na lang siya. Ayp! Hanggang ngayon hindi ko makalimutan san siya nakatira at kung anong skul ang nakasulat sa suot niyang blue shirt.

#5 Stop nang stop.

Lahat na lang ginawa nang jeepney stop. Ang nakakaasar pag wala namang nagpara o may nais sumakay, basta hihinto lang ang driver para makapagsakay ng pasahero. Ang nakakainit ng ulo, pag nagmamadali ka dahil late ka na tapos eto pa ang nasakyan mo. Bad trip! Mag-isip ka na kung gusto mo pang sumakay o magtaxi na lang o magpalit ng jeep o di kaya mag-isip ka na ng excuse kung bakit ka late.

#4 Ang Konduktor.

Nakaupo ka sa may pwet ng jeep tas panay taktak ng konduktor sa bubong o di kaya sa side ng jeep.

Pag atat sa bayad ang konduktor. At pag dinedma mo, sasabihin niya maya-maya "Asa ka munaog". Or, konti na lang kayo sa jeep at ang tagal mo ng nakaupo at hindi ka pa nagbabayad, magpaparinig na "Kanang mga wala pa daw nakabayad diha". Sus! Para namang wala kang perang pambayad.

Eto, pwedeng fault ng driver or ng konduktor. 

Pasakay ng pasakay ng pasahero, para namang may mauupuan pa eh halos 1/2 na lang ng pwet mo ang nakaupo dahil ang sikip-sikip na. Naalala ko, gabi na nun. Galing ako sa debut, ang hirap sumakay so nung may jeep na papunta sa amin, avail na. 1/2 na lang ng pwet ko ang nakaupo, para na ngang sit on the air yun.  Basta para makauwi na.

Nagstop ang driver dahil may tinawag na pasahero ang konduktor. Nung pasakay na yung girlaloo and company, sigaw nung konduktor "sibogi daw, sibogi daw.... naa pa na... pasingita ni ninyo". Alma ang girl kay klaro na kaayo na wala na gyud malingkuran. Mag-move on na ang driver kay wala na gyud. Inulit pa ng konduktor "sibogi daw ninyo!!! naa pa na dira (sabay turo), sibog daw (sabay tulak sa girlaloo papasok)".

Antok na ako pero nitaas gyud akong BP sa akong nadunggan. "Ikaw daw lingkod diri tanawun nato naa pay kabutangan na imung lubot. Sige kag pasibog dira, wala naman gyud ikasibog. Lingkod daw dira testing beh tanawun nato naa pa kay malingkuran. Kita kang guot na kaayo mi diri, manawag pa gyud kag pasahero."

Nahilom ang konduktor.

#3 Kung makaupo...

...aakalain mong may orchitis si Dude sa tindi nang pagkabukaka.

...parang candidate sa Miss Universe si Lola sa upong diagonal. Ayp!

...nakataas pa ang paa. Ay, jeep mo?

...may kasama pang bagahe sa silya habang siksikan at hirap na ang lahat. Nagtaxi ka na lang sana. (sabay mura)

...ginawa kang sandalan ni Ate. (background song: Sandalan by 6cycle mind) "sige lang, sandal ka lang at wag mong pipigilan/ itutulak kita pag-break ni Manong/ maghanda ka sa pag-break ni Manong/ sige laaaaang"

#2 Ang Lumilipad na Buhok. Bow.

Nakakaasar 'to. Meron akong technique para dito eh.. Hahaha! Last resort ko na ang mag-reprimand.

Meron akong Prof nun, may dala talaga siyang mga elastic band sa bag niya (yung pag-inulit-ulit mo ang gamit, nasisira na... comes in assorted color sa isang pack...) para pag may ganitong pangyayari, mag-aabot siya ng isang tali at sasabihin niyang itali ang lumilipad na buhok. Pasimpleng insulto.

#1 "Palihog ko sa bayad..."

"Paapil pud". Grrrrr!!! Sa asar ko minsan, sabi ng malditang ako "Kinsa pa may magpaabot sa ilang bayad?". Wait.... Tas nung wala na, inabot ang bayad kay Manong Driver sabay palayo kay Manong para hindi na makapag-abot ng bayad.

Nakaka rin yung bababa ka na nga, aabutan ka pa ng bayad. Leche! Dedmahin ko nga sabay alisin ang kamay na nakaharang. Bastusan?

Isa pa! Panira ng araw rin yung mapapansin mong may annoying na nangangalabit sayo para lang pansinin mo siya. Sa susunod, try ko ngang i-localize ang sensory perception at i-shoo ng kamay ang foreign body. Tee-hee. Pero of course, hindi nakatingin sa nagpapaabot. Lagot ako nun. Hahaha!

Minsan para maiwasan ang mga ganyan lalo na't malapit ako kay Manong Driver, mabuti pang matulog. Hindi pa naman ako naka-try na ginising ako para lang mag-abot ng bayad. Mainam.

***

My Jeepney Blooper:

Nasa may pwetan ako ng jeep nun, ang ingay ng konduktor. Magrereply ako sa text pero hindi ako makapag-concentrate sa ingay. Nagma-mouth na ako ng words na itetext ko para makapag-concentrate ako. Ang ingay pa rin ng konduktor. Nagulat ako dahil napasabi pala ako ng "SSSSHHHH!!!" at natahimik ang konduktor. Pasimpleng tinakpan ko na lang yung bibig ko dahil napapa-smile na ako at nag-concentrate na lang ulit kunwari sa pagtetext. LOL! :D

***

Puppy Love

He coined us that early last year. What we had then was according to him --puppy love. For whatever the definition of puppy love (I'm too lazy to look it up in Google), maybe it was that.

We were classmates in 5th grade. And as I recall now, we were classmates only in 5th grade. And I had 3 crushes then. One of them is him. He's my "ultimate crush" then.

He's a bully. I'm a fighter. We don't mix. Ever. There were a whole lot of moments were he gets in my nerves and he likes seeing me pissed off. He never failed to catch my attention by being so annoying and him doing the hand signs I never understood then --but now I've figured out he was actually trying to tell me "I love you" by those hand signs of his-- (with his facial expressions: angry kunwari or --at times when I'm racking my brains out then trying to understand-- exasperated) and then he'll walk away leaving me hanging and wondering and totally blind.

Though he treats me that way, I knew then that there's something undefinable by the way he becomes helpful out-of-the-blue, he stares at me, and be all of a sudden gentle when his friends are not around. I kind of "get it" because I used to act like that as well when I had crushes. There's this special treatment. And I get really mean to my crush, most of the time. Haha! 

I sometimes watch him do basketball from afar. I don't want him to see me watching him play because he'll go "ginatan-aw ko nimu noh? ka-sweet pud nimu ui" then I'll get irritated and walk away.

Oh, I remember how our classmates tied our hands together by an abaca rope and it scarred my wrist a little when I was the only one untying the ropes so I could be freed ASAP. And there he was, just standing there  looking at me, as if he doesn't mind our hands being tied up til forever. Then I snapped him out of his blank moment and commanded him to help me untie the ropes.

When we reached Grade 6, we were in different sections. He quitted those childish things he used to do.  There was this gap that when we happen to pass by each other, we're silent and we're like complete strangers. Sometimes, I just don't go straight ahead when I see him in my way.

We never had any communication. I knew where he's studying high school because our then-classmate/common friend/my neighbor teases me slash updates me even after elementary days.

Early last year, we texted each other after almost 9 years (?) of no communication. I told him how piqued I was by his presence then and he apologized for it. We just laugh off our childish ways in the end. And there he described it as "puppy love". I was like, O-K. Hahaha! (It never crossed my mind that we were that. Lol) He asked me out  on a casual basis (just a kumusta thing) but I was too busy then and I don't know what will we ever talk about considering we never had any real conversation than him telling me his presko lines or me shouting at him to stop irritating me.

Last week we accidentally bumped into each other (figuratively... literally, almost). He was with his girlfriend --whom I think was the one he was referring to that he loves big time. I immediately but calmly walked away because it was an awkward moment.

We don't text after that short texting we had last year. What was important for me is that I've let him know how I felt then when he makes me angry and that he apologized his behavior then. Puppy love? For whatever the definition of puppy love (I'm still too lazy to look it up in Google), well maybe it was that.

And it's not that big of a deal. :)