How to pack up like an obsessive-compulsive

The OC part of me is stressing me out. Moreover, me being stressed out by myself can be 1) mostly useful and 2) can not be of exemplary use as well.

How to pack up like me because I'm an OC. Ugh.

1. Make a list of things to bring way before your travel date. (You don't want to be irate thinking you've left something behind. Review your note once in a while.) Be specific. When I say specific, include those one would never thought of bringing along --say, scissors.. nail cutter.. flashlight... All because those might be needed.
2. Get those things you've listed down. Don't put it in your luggage yet. Crush out those you've prepared in your list. Get all those you might need with the thinking that you might actually need it.
3. Now, place everything in your luggage. And a little after doing so, you must realize that you're going to be charged some extra fee for the excess baggage. Ha!
4. Time to review what you've put in. This is the time I bargain with my self that those I have put in my bag are actually essential and might be used/needed/whatsoever.
5. OC Instinct vs Conscience. Often, my conscience wins this only after battling hard with my OC instinct. Or after I do a little compromise with things. As I am typing this, I am not yet done with packing. :) I'm still doing the bargaining inside my head. But you know my conscience managed to get some clothes out of my bag. After all, if I rarely use it now, I may never get close to using those even if I bring it with me. Thank God for my brain.
6. Now everything is set to go, close your bag and start stressing maybe you've left something behind. You have to convince yourself hard enough that you haven't. Review your list once again and see that you haven't missed out whatever it may be. If you're still not convinced, compare your luggage with someone else's. Haha!
7. If you're still not convinced and you're tired of being stressed, do step #5 again. This time, the battle is over checking your bag contents again and again and again OR to stop overthinking and convince yourself it's enough (needs a lot of practicing) OR do both (because you're an OC).

Yeah, yeah... Welcome to my life. LOL

Kids

I saw this pic over tumblr and it's just so adorable. Who in the world does not see it as lovely?

I want to dress up my future kid/s like this too. :) Very very adorable. It made me think of the kind of joy little blessings like this make a parent melt... It made me think I want a kid now too so I can have someone to dress up and buy little mittens, little socks, little clothes, and all things that are colorful and cute.

But I wish having a kid is as easy as having a stuffed toy. When you're through with playing, you can just leave it in your room as you attend to your day's activities. And get back to your plushy when you feel like playing dress up again.

With how costly living a life is now, having a baby should be and is ideally well-planned. It's not like going on a mall and then an impulse strikes you with the thinking "I want it" and presto. Even when I have my share of impulse buying, when I get home I come to think why on earth have I bought it anyways. Then regret on what has happened --that the money spent on it should have been spent on something more worthy of buying.

Yet things don't go "ideally" all the time. I salute women who carry on with their pregnancy at a young age who goes head on with whatever the repercussions of their actions are. I salute people who does not resort to committing abortion just to "undo" the result of their impulsive wants. I salute all single parents for doing all they can to rear their little ones.

In as much as I want to have a "mini me", I believe today or any time soon is not the right time. Having a kid is not like having a toy. It requires great love, incessant effort, much time, and more money. I want my future kid to grow up well-provided for financially and emotionally.

I want to be financially stable first, then have a family of my own. Then maybe after a couple of years, I'll have a baby. Then be a full-time mom to watch and guide my kid as s/he's growing up. :)

For now, I guess I have to fish for my old stuffed toys and be content with them.... play with our puppies.... and accomplish my dreams for myself and for my family first.

Express Mail 10

To my brown truffle-colored phone:
I understand you're sick. Maybe it's your battery or your internal parts. I super don't know what's wrong why you start draining the life out of you within 24 hours. I don't know what to hope for: to hope it's the battery's problem and that would suck 1,200 bucks out of my/my dad's pocket (hopefully his pocket), or to hope it's something internal like the connector that costs 650 bucks. M says he thinks it's the board's problem. (Recently you fell from my cupboard, remember?) And if that is the case, I was like having a problem with the entire CPU if in contrast with the PC. Dang.

Afterall, I think I know what to hope for anyways. I want to keep you. I just hope I can buy a new battery for you and that things would get back to your old you. :(

To my hormones:
You're so in a state of imbalance. I'm having mood swings to the next level. I'm just like switching crayons as I'm going thru emotions my entire day. A lil stressful for me and everyone around me, eh?

To lovesick people around me:
Lately are the days I don't seem to ride with all your mushiness. I get irritated MOST of the time. Blame it to my hormones, thankyouverymuch.

To my at-fault hormones:
...because you're erratic.

I am actually starting to think that I can possibly be unable to bear a kid, even an H-mole. For crying out loud, you are so not regularly coming. And if ever I'll be clinically diagnosed as one who is not capable of reproduction, I will be a spinster. I'll need to earn well and save well so when time comes I am in my 40's and no one wants to marry me cause I'm barren, I'll tour around the world anyways.

To Paris, France:
Speaking of touring the world, everyone including me wants to visit you. Heck I know you got this title "most romantic place on Earth" and so I promise to pay you a visit when I'm not in my I'm-irritated-with-lovesick-people mood as a spinster.

To my anxious thoughts:
You are starting to rise again. Please be in mild level only. I know I'm starting to think to end my life when the result will be unfortunate early next year. Yet I know it will be a wrong decision to make. Right now, all I want to say to you is that I have God and that I know He's in control. Bleh!

Scars

One of my fave songs is Scars by Papa Roach. I love the line "the scars remind us that the past is real". Indeed it is.

Whenever I look at my scars I remember how did I get it in the first place. There's this "I slipped in the rock in the sea" scar, "I was pushed by my sister" scar, and the "play" scar, the "mishandled knife" scar... And of all my scars, I have a favorite. It's small to be noticed, it blends well with the rest of my skin. But me owning and knowing my body, I can easily recognize it. It's the scar I had when I was tugging the marker away from my best bud. Silly fight. HAHA! And I know I have scarred him too, but on a different instance and a different story. HAHA! :P

I'm an Alcoholic

Yes, I am. I've been trying to deny this for the longest time but then everyone around me has witnessed my compulsion. And I can't help it.

An alcohol in my bag is a must. It's one thing I can't afford to not have. There were these moments when I suffer from dry hands for the sake of giving in to it. Then I bought this antibacterial lotion but I just didn't like it.

The other day M had a dream of me being in a military academy. (I would like to sign up for it but my height does not meet the requirement. Dang!) Then in our jogging session he noticed I have an alcohol on my pants' pocket.

Even in dreams. LOL.

I love my own company

The other day (or was it yesterday) I wanted to have some alone time today at a coffee shop just to chill. But I wasn't able to do so because I had some change of heart.

I ended up having a lil retail therapy ('cause I just can't resist buying that lil angel) and some street-food-trip. I had a hotdog, kwek-kwek, 3pcs pork barbeque, 1 isaw, 1 probin (whatever the spelling of it is), and Sparkle. :) Now, you don't have to remind me how takaw I am. :) All in all, (I actually hate computing the money I spent but for the sake) I spent 44 bucks.

And this is what I hate about adding up how much I spent: I just figured out just now that I could have enjoyed sitting in Mcdonalds rather than standing on the side of the street busy with my food. Haha! Or it could have been my ever favorite Dunkin Donuts.... Oh well. At least I was still happy. :)

Isturyang Adik

Kabalo ko dali ra ko malain.. Imung giingon months ago --long as naay impact sa ako to kay makahinumdum gihapon ko ana. Mura lang kog walay pake pero nagbantay lang ko. I know I'm matampuhin. Sige lang, there will come a day when I get numb from all there is to feel and I'll never be Ms. Matampuhin anymore.

Sa kadali nako malain, dali lang pud ko maanad. Ironically, pag naanad ko, astang dugaya nako maka-unlearn. Right now, the greatest thing I find difficult to unlearn is the very thing I've been used to for years.

Nakasabot man ko. Gusto lang nako magyawyaw run sa kadaghan na akong wala ginasturya or ginagawas na emotions in my 21 years of existence... major major... Haha! Shit. At least man lang, once in a blue moon, mag-isturya kog murag adik. Haay!

May naisip tuloy ako na thought. Bad cheetah. Gusto man siguro ko magka-lung cancer. Binuang. Maypa siguro run kay magtrip to Paris ko ugma (after namu mag-adto ni Gg sa Palau ug sa Florida) unya saka sa Eiffel Tower unya ishagit tanan na energy nako hantod sa mashagit pud nako akong lungs. Ug sa dihang, karon lang nako naisip na dili pwede akong lungs akong mabuga pag mushagit ko sa Paris ugma. Maypa siguro akong larynx na lang.

In that manner, maski unsa akong buhaton, wala na koy larynx. Yehey! Ok na unta ang tonsillitis frequently pero kung magka-ingana, labad ang dysphagia. Dili ko pwede magfood trip. Kung pwede lang maghikog.

No to lung cancer. No to lung cancer. Magbasketball na lang guro ko ugma. Depende kung naa pay spare time sa amung pag travel around the world ni Gg ugma. Giuhaw nuon ko dah. Best served with ice.

Maremember nako sa una kay manlabay kog mga libro or maski unsa akong magunitan. Sa karon, ang gwapong NCP kay Violence directed to self. Hilig kog WWF sa una. Hahaha!

Ok man diay mag-isturyag wala diri wala didto ui. Nahuwasan ko gamay in fairness major major. Sa kung kinsa man ang nagabasa ani karon, pasensha kaayo kay nahimu kang saksi sa kung unsa kagubot akong utok sa karon. Ug para ingnan tika, wala pa na sa tunga sa akong adik na utok.

Isip nuon nako na magbuhat kog separate inadik na blog. Haha! Shots shots shots! Sige, mangape sa ko.

Told ya... Isturyang Adik..

Knee "pain"

Me got a new favorite. Salonpas. Haha! I may smell like an old woman now but I found the patch soothing to my knee "pain". I don't know what's with my knees I think it's more on "fatigued" (if knees ever feel that kind of feeling). So I decided to put on that patch I last wore when I got my hand slightly injured from playing basketball almost 6 years ago.

Here's how my knees looks like right at this very moment. :)

:)

December, wait for me!

The original plan was that after my board exam, I'll head to Visayas to attend a wedding. Bad bad thing was that the PNLE was moved from December 3-4 to December 12-13. So I won't be able to go after all. :(

December 12-13 was moved again to December 19-20, 2010. This time it's final. WAAAH! Just a few days before Christmas, eh? What I'm just keeping in mind is that, the day after my last exam day, it's me and my berx' 6th Anniversary! Haha! At least I have a reason to have them right after my board exam. And it's going to be heck of a de-stressing get-together. :)

Speaking of friends... I super thank God for friends like Gido and Yan yan. :) Earlier this day, we had our papers filed for the said exam. Praise God it went smoothly. YAY! :D We lunched out after, though it's still 10am. HAHA! We sure did finish early. :)

It's so refreshing to know that people got your back. I was really really tensed this morning and they were like asking me if I'm fine, pats my back, and just boosting my energy when it was already my turn specifically when the one on the counter (who was so nice) was already checking my papers. God knows how tensed I was then. :) Thinking back, I might have pulled it off alone pero iba pa rin talaga kung may kasama ka. Talk about moral support.

When finally I was called at Window 4 to get my Notice of Admission slip, a guide, the official receipt and my change, I was so elated. FINALLY! Finally all the hard work and stress of having our exhibit forms signed and other papers notarized/get done was totally over.

We are yet to face the true battle --the reason for every sweat and blood we shed for four years. The battle is on December 19 and 20. No reason to be lax on reviews anymore, now that we had our load a lil lighter since we're done with the paper works.

I dedicate my battle to my Dad, my Mom, and my sister. December, wait for me! I'll conquer you, by God's grace. :)

Sick-y Me

The other day I had some aura of having my second encounter of vertigo. My first encounter was 2 months ago, if I'm not mistaken. It was horrible. So the moment I had the feeling of vertigo coming to me again, I researched and self-medicated. Haha! But I had lightheadedness til yesterday. I have to agree that being lightheaded is way better than having your whole world spinning and you get really sweaty and nauseated.

I haven't played my fb games for a couple of days. If it was ever possible (that I don't have to make up for what I've missed) that I'd be absent, I might have chosen to just be on my bed not having to attend my review classes. I actually went to bed for the past 2 nights earlier than usual... and of course it gave me more or a little less than 12 hours of sleep. Heaven. :)

Yesterday as I arrived home from class, I had fever and chills. The last time I had that combo was on an outbased duty. I remember 2 of my roommates hearing me mumble things in my sleep. XD And as from what I can remember, all I think about during that moment was "Dexamethasone" --a corticosteroid drug. Press Rewind. Earlier that day, we had our short orientation at this hospital's ICU department. Our clinical instructor introduced us to all the drugs in there. And there was Dexamethasone. He asked the group what was the classification of that drug. Nobody knows the answer. So he told us that it's actually a steroid blah blah blah. And in my sleep that night, all I can remember was Dexamethasone. There was actually a "run-down" of the meds he introduced us but Dexamethasone struck me most.

So last night was different. The most striking in my sleep was..... (drumroll)....... Atropine Sulfate. Dang! In my sleep I was like reviewing my (review class) notes and what kept on playing in my mind was Atropine Sulfate! XD

I wonder if I was mumbling too... LOL! That's fever and chills for me!

I'm a Mom?!

I am only 21 and it's not that I'm expecting a baby to come out in me in a matter of months nor have I given birth already.. Haha! Those were scary. *I actually don't like the idea of my tummy getting big... and having all those stretch marks... and that I can't reach my toes... and have all the varicosities in the world... and my whole body and face being plump..*

I just realized I've got a few friends who call me "Mama/Ma", "Mommy", and "Mameh". And that I also get those Mother's Day greetings. Waaaah! :)

Things Gg and I have learned

By some force of nature, we need to have a token and a frame for the certificate on Monday's seminar. Right after our "dance practice" (para gwapo paminawun --istoryahee), Gg and I went to Gmall.

Fast forward to the time we were at McDonald's.

Things I've learned tonight:
1. I discovered that that kind of wrapper can be sticked together by a double-sided tape.
2. I now know how to wrap a wine bottle decently.
3. I can make a simple yet presentable ribbon. :)

I told Gg about this and she shared to me ONE thing she learned tonight --she doesn't like mustard. Hehe. (I like mustard with ketchup on my fries.)

Sundae

Introducing my new love from McDonalds............

The new Fruity Blueberry Sundae, whatever. I don't get the name exactly but I definitely ♥ this. However, Caramel Sundae is my #1 favorite. :)

Let's talk "blood"

Gauge 16 needle on my left antecubital area.

Squeezing some ball to make the blood flow fast and fill the bag right away to get this over with. :)

Post blood donation. :) Medyo namutla ba?

I'm planning na mag-donate ulit this summer. Sama ka?

Twenty-one at 25

A late post. Like, 3 weeks late. :)

My 20th birthday was unforgettable, so as my 21st.

Feb. 24 (a day before my birthday)-- The Bugstato had a light and blooper-filled (neologism hahaha) case presentation. Then had our 4-hour duty (hooray!) at the hospital. We had our dinner together. And Kevin and Gicelle had with them a cake after being out-of-sight which is sweet of 'em.

 We ate it before going to a carnival at Matina where we had our dose of screaming at the roller coaster ride.

 

After the ride, they went to try the Octopus.

While most of us are wanting to go home, Kevin wants to have a singing spree. So we went to Rizal St. via  a cab (which was paid by him.. just so he has company..).

 

Attendance Check: FF, Loise, John, Nonah, Kevin, Jovs, Me :P

Gg gave me something before she went home and instructed me not to open it before the clock strikes 12mn. And during our videoke session with the rest of the gang, I discovered that Gg was checking on FF if I did open the gift already. Hahaha! :)

(This was her gift, by the way...)

I'll display this in my office in the future. :)

A unique letter. :)

I love my phone. I love how it captured the bottle. No editing done in here! Haha!

Feb. 25 (my day)-- I don't want to recall how I spent my day actually. I just don't want to remember it. But here's a picture of the cake Migz bought me.

                                      

The Holidays

Due to exhaustion most of the days of the holidays, I have this blog post late.

Well, I love Christmas vacations. Who doesn't? I get to take a break from school (my last Christmas break as a student), get to be with my HS berx, and just chillax, hit the streets and the malls for some shopping spree. I've got to say I was broke after all the purchasing of gifts and some personal stuffs I wanted for my self. Thank goodness school is back and now I'm saving bucks.

Dec 21 is a date I always love every year 'cause it's our Berx Anniversary. :) And we're 5 and counting. ♥ Though we were never ever complete except for our Berx' "birth" date, I always look forward to Dec 21. No matter if we're all broke, or just completely insane, I ♥ being with them. And I ♥ them all.

However, the highlight for my Christmas '09 is the one-night-only caroling I had with my girlfriends --Kara, Cha, Rysa.  Kara never caroled houses even when she was just little. I just can't remember if Cha and Rysa doesn't have that kind of experience as well. (As for me, I had lots of memories of those. Hehe.)

For almost 2 hours, we had 190 quid then Rysa's mom gave us 500 without us singing. So we sang the 3 sets of songs we had prepared. We had 690, in total.

Days before Christmas, houses in Cha's neighborhood was caught by fire. 20 families, we heard, were struck by the unfortunate event. Christmas is a time of giving. With what we were able to gather on our caroling night and a lil amount from our pockets, we bought some goods out of it and donate it to those who needs it all the more at that moment. So there.

The holidays was also an opportunity for me to donate some of my glittering blood. Haha! Gauge 16 was real big. Seriously. I've had g20 and g18, yet no other compares to g16. Whenever I'm being punctured by whatsoever kind of syringe or needles for whatever kind of procedure, I always look at how they pierce me.When I saw the lumen of g16, sheesh. I looked away when the Red Cross personnel hit my blood vessel. I just can't look at how that big-of-a-needle will go thru my skin and into my artery. It doesn't take long to fill a bag. I guess I've filled it within 10-15 minutes. I'd definitely do it again in March or April. :)

Helping out never felt this good. And I hope in every season, in every day, God will give us the opportunity to help others even in the smallest of things. Not just in Christmases. :)

Deal.. Or Deal.. (No "No Deal")

The Deal was made. M mandated that I have to be in school 30 minutes before the said call-time for the whole of 2nd sem. I hate it. (I'm just being honest here.. Hehehehe) At first, it was just 15 minutes. However I failed in my make-or-break day, that's why.

The catch: If I arrive right on the dot and onwards (meaning, I'm late), M will send an SMS to my Mom saying that I was late and that I didn't catch the quiz (if I really didn't). If I'm in past my due time (which is 30mins before the call-time), I'll have a vegetarian diet. Neither way, veggies are included. The only way to break free from these is to arrive before or on my due time.

Frankly, Mom approved of it. She liked it. Oh, scratch. She LOVED it. :(

In exchange, I want his grades to hit 85 and above. I see he's been concerned with his academic performance though I barely see efforts in his part. (Sorry to say that M..) Now that it's a deal, I assume he'll work it out. Afterall, like what I've always been saying to him, he'll be the first to benefit from this. It's not for me. It's for his sake. Am I right or am I über right?

I still can't make up my mind as to what his punishment will be.. Any suggestions?

Being early is for my sake as well. (I can hear him say this over and over again.) Sigh. I think I'll have a vegeterian diet for next sem. Drat. Let's get it on! *rolling my eyeballs*

The Name Change

Ho.... I've just made my pen name. Nyahahaha! :X
From Kxxx 013, I am now Sage M. Or Sage Muñoz.

I adore the name Sage. (I actually want to name my child that. That'll be my child's second name. As for the first name, I won't tell you yet. Haha!) :D And that's it. No other reasons.

The last name I'm now using is actually mine. So there.

A Message in the Bottle

*Photo taken by yours truly via my ever ever dear cellphone. :)*

Whew! It took me quite some time before I finally finish this "mini-project" of mine. In case I forgot to tell you, once I get my hands on something, I get OC-fied.

For the finale, I settled to have a bond paper rolled instead of a yellow. Plus, the paper inside the bottle was the nth paper I've written on simply because I want the characters to look perfect and that the entire message to look wonderfully written.

What is this for? You can have your guesses but I'm not going to spill the beans just yet. HAHAHAHAHA!! :D

Oh-See

OC \oh-see\ n, abbr : Obsessive-Compulsive

It's more than just a word. It's what I am.

I remember being called one when I was in my high school years. And bottom line is I didn't like it so I shrug it off like a loose hair in my shirt. I can't understand why my friends think I am one.

What I annoys me as an OC and yet I can't help it:

> Once I get my hands on a project or an assignment whatever, I finish it longer than necessary just because I don't like my work to be half-cooked. Super stressful. I have "perfection" running in my veins.

> And when I get works that are not well-done, the very ends of my hair want to fall off. I want it to be "perfect". From the lay-out, margin, spacing, font size/color/style, spelling, etc.

> I am such an alcoholic. It dries up my hands, duh.


A vindicated-and-now-a-self-confessed OC. I've learned to love that weird part of me though. This is what I am.