Puppy Love

He coined us that early last year. What we had then was according to him --puppy love. For whatever the definition of puppy love (I'm too lazy to look it up in Google), maybe it was that.

We were classmates in 5th grade. And as I recall now, we were classmates only in 5th grade. And I had 3 crushes then. One of them is him. He's my "ultimate crush" then.

He's a bully. I'm a fighter. We don't mix. Ever. There were a whole lot of moments were he gets in my nerves and he likes seeing me pissed off. He never failed to catch my attention by being so annoying and him doing the hand signs I never understood then --but now I've figured out he was actually trying to tell me "I love you" by those hand signs of his-- (with his facial expressions: angry kunwari or --at times when I'm racking my brains out then trying to understand-- exasperated) and then he'll walk away leaving me hanging and wondering and totally blind.

Though he treats me that way, I knew then that there's something undefinable by the way he becomes helpful out-of-the-blue, he stares at me, and be all of a sudden gentle when his friends are not around. I kind of "get it" because I used to act like that as well when I had crushes. There's this special treatment. And I get really mean to my crush, most of the time. Haha! 

I sometimes watch him do basketball from afar. I don't want him to see me watching him play because he'll go "ginatan-aw ko nimu noh? ka-sweet pud nimu ui" then I'll get irritated and walk away.

Oh, I remember how our classmates tied our hands together by an abaca rope and it scarred my wrist a little when I was the only one untying the ropes so I could be freed ASAP. And there he was, just standing there  looking at me, as if he doesn't mind our hands being tied up til forever. Then I snapped him out of his blank moment and commanded him to help me untie the ropes.

When we reached Grade 6, we were in different sections. He quitted those childish things he used to do.  There was this gap that when we happen to pass by each other, we're silent and we're like complete strangers. Sometimes, I just don't go straight ahead when I see him in my way.

We never had any communication. I knew where he's studying high school because our then-classmate/common friend/my neighbor teases me slash updates me even after elementary days.

Early last year, we texted each other after almost 9 years (?) of no communication. I told him how piqued I was by his presence then and he apologized for it. We just laugh off our childish ways in the end. And there he described it as "puppy love". I was like, O-K. Hahaha! (It never crossed my mind that we were that. Lol) He asked me out  on a casual basis (just a kumusta thing) but I was too busy then and I don't know what will we ever talk about considering we never had any real conversation than him telling me his presko lines or me shouting at him to stop irritating me.

Last week we accidentally bumped into each other (figuratively... literally, almost). He was with his girlfriend --whom I think was the one he was referring to that he loves big time. I immediately but calmly walked away because it was an awkward moment.

We don't text after that short texting we had last year. What was important for me is that I've let him know how I felt then when he makes me angry and that he apologized his behavior then. Puppy love? For whatever the definition of puppy love (I'm still too lazy to look it up in Google), well maybe it was that.

And it's not that big of a deal. :)