Woven Thoughts

I.
OK, I perfectly know that being insecure is never good and so as it's sister --envy. Whenever I stumble on that, I start to ask why I happen to not have it... why do I not get as close to it... and I wonder if I would ever claim it too... and if when will that be.

I'm starting to lose hope on my dream. I want to think that someday I'ma have it too. But maybe I don't deserve it after all. I don't know. I envy those who are enjoying it right now. And right, I know I'm sinning by envying others. Crap! Save me!

II.
The culprit for my behavior lately is none other than my now-here-and-for-a-few-months-gone hormones. I have a faulty system. My ovulation days are next to unpredictable. I think my longest time of drought was 5 months. I actually want to see a gynecologist but you know, I'm pretty scared of the possible findings. Like after all I'm not a girl... Stuff like that. LOL.

I've been very much irritable (like I always am when my period's coming) that I am actually in a combative mode for days. It's like "Move, and I'll shoot you" kind-of feeling.

III.
Talking about my faulty system, I think that there would be a narrow probability of me getting pregnant because of it. And that is more on the advantage for me because I don't like kids, generally. Maybe my perception would change once I have my own kids. But now, nah-uh!

IV.
Kids. kids. kids. The reason why our neighbor whines every single day for not less than 3 times per day.

Yesterday the kid was playing stone-throwing. Great. He aims for houses. Awesome. I caught him in the act of throwing stones at our house but the lil kid didn't seem to notice me since I was just standing at our door. So I went outside and caught him throwing at the house in front of us. I got his attention and like most kids do when they are reprimanded for their action which they know isn't right, he ran away.

Pretty much the same story of a random kid who was fascinated with our lovebirds and threw his ice water at the cage but missed it. I got angry at them and told them I don't want to see their faces.

V.
I know. I'm a meanie. :)